 Geena Davis (Thelma & Louise, Beetlejuice) and Matthew Modine (Married To The Mob, Full Metal Jacket) deliver a tidal wave of nonstop action and adventure in this swashbuckling saga of ruthless pirates, buried treasure and bloodthirsty betrayal. Storyline: Morgan Adams and her slave, William Shaw, are on a quest to recover the three portions of a treasure map. Unfortunately, the final portion is held by her murderous uncle, Dawg. Her crew is skeptical of her leadership abilities, so she must complete her quest before they mutiny against her. This is made yet more difficult by the efforts of the British crown to end her piratical raids. Written by Stern Reviewer's Note: Reviewed by Casey Broadwater on August 14, 2009 -- Let me start by saying that if I see one more frat boy dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow for Halloween, I think I might heave ho over the starboard bow. When Johnny Depp and company stormed our shores back in 2003 with The Curse of the Black Pearl, pirates suddenly became the mass-accepted, geek subculture icon de jour, and every half-hot jock from UCLA to Penn State suddenly thought he could charm the pantaloons off the ladies by donning a blouse, covering a few teeth with tin-foil, and acting like a drunk. It happens every couple of years— some nerd-core concept gets thrust into the limelight and embraced by the culture at large. It happened with zombies during the one-two-three combo of 28 Days Later, the Dawn of the Dead remake, and Land of the Dead, and now vampires are the latest geek-chic craze to be bled dry, with teen girls swooning at Twilight and HBO's True Blood offering up a wicked snack for more mature audiences. The wave of pirate interest has since crested and receded, and I have a feeling Lionsgate's Blu-ray release of Cutthroat Island will be received without much fanfare. When Cutthroat Island was released in 1995, it was a monumental flop on the scale of Waterworld. Between casting woes, an overinflated budget, and MGM's refusal to spend any money on marketing, advance word of the film was sour, and Cutthroat Island sank out of sight after a mere week in U.S. theaters. The film recouped only about $10,000,000 of its massive $92,000,000 production costs, bankrupting Carolco Pictures and spelling doom for the box-office viability of future pirate flicks. Since then, the film has found a small cult following on home video, director Renny Harlin has become even more of a hack, and Disney has surprisingly resurrected the pirate genre with its hugely successful, Gore Verbinski-helmed trilogy. On the surface, Cutthroat Island and the Pirates of the Caribbean films have a lot in common—swashbuckling highjinks in tropical locales, massive action set pieces, and romance on the high seas—so why did Renny Harlin's ill-fated adventure fail while Disney went on to create a franchise? There are myriad reasons, I'm sure, but consider these names: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, and Orlando Bloom. That's a bankable trio. Matthew Modine, Geena Davis, and Frank Langella? Not so much. But it can't all come down to star power, can it? Well, maybe. The story concerns female pirate Morgan Adams (Geena Davis), whose dying father has just commanded her to scalp him. You see, Harry Morgan has one third of a map to Cutthroat Island tattooed on his dome piece, and he wants his daughter to have it before he gets a locker next to Davy Jones. Morgan does some off-camera surgery, becomes the new captain of her father's ship, and sets sail for Port Royal, where she picks up William Shaw (Matthew Modine), a conniving thief who is just educated enough to translate the Latin on the map. After being spotted by Royal Navy redcoats, Morgan and her crew of scallywags narrowly escape and head to a brothel to retrieve the second portion of the map from Morgan's uncle Mordecai. With the location of the island now revealed, they cut through deadly seas toward their very own treasure island, pursued by nefarious pirate Dawg Brown (Frank Langella), Morgan's other uncle—sheesh, what's with this family—and possessor of the final third of the map. Once they make ground, Morgan and Shaw's tenuous alliance is strained by sexual tension and greed, but they have to work together if it means reaching the treasure and getting out alive. Filmed in Malta and Thailand, Cutthroat Island is every bit as big as Pirates of the Caribbean. Renny Harlin clearly made the most of his nearly unlimited bankroll, turning every childhood pirate fantasy imaginable into wild, explosion-filled set pieces that are all the more impressive for being wholly unaided by CGI. There's one stunt in particular, where Geena Davis flips through a second-story glass window and down onto the seat of a rushing horse-drawn carriage, which will have you scratching your head for days. The film's pace rarely lets up, and we're drawn from one dizzying, death-defying encounter to the next, with only short character- building scenes for breathing space. Take a second to think of all the pirate movie clichés you've ever seen. Got 'em? Now, I guarantee you that every single one of them is present in Cutthroat Island. Does someone swing from a chandelier? Is there swordfight on top of the mainsail? Will a cute monkey provide endless comic relief? Yes, yes, and yes. It's as if someone told Renny Harlin, "Look, we're going to give you one hundred million dollars to make a pirate movie, but you've got to watch every swashbuckling tale since The Black Pirate with Douglas Fairbanks, write down everything that happens, and put it all in your film." There's a mutiny, a half-submerged treasure in a perilous cave, a thunderous maritime cannon battle, some sly double entendres, and more steel-on-steel action than you could, well, shake a sword at. The only thing missing is a pirate getting hit on the head by a coconut. And while there's nothing we haven't seen before, Cutthroat Island is at least consistently entertaining, even if the principle actors don't quite seem suited for their parts. Looking at the film objectively—with no thoughts to the budgetary excesses or the director's less- than-admirable cinematic reputation—Cutthroat Island's main flaw is that there's really nothing noteworthy about the actors' performances. Geena Davis is like a fish out of water—I simply can't buy her as a female pirate—and her pep talks to the crew are about as rousing as a week-long PBS telethon. Michael Douglas was originally set to play Shaw, and after he dropped out at the last minute, Harlin scrambled to find a replacement, finally settling on Full Metal Jacket's Matthew Modine, whose arch and over-the-top intonations make it sound like he's auditioning for a highschool musical. While Davis and Modine have some modicum of chemistry, we never really root for them as a couple. Worst of all, Frank Langella should win some hypothetical award for laziest, least-menacing screen villain. It could be that he's just not given enough to do, but Dawg Brown is all bark, and a pretty wimpy bark at that. Still, if you look past some poor casting decisions and see the film for what it is—an old-fashioned pirate romp that never takes itself too seriously—then Cutthroat Island becomes a kind of scruffy underdog, pulling alongside The Pirates of the Caribbean with its guns out, ready to go head to head. It may have been one of the biggest box office bombs ever, and it may not have the highest-caliber performances, but Cutthroat Island is a sometimes charming, occasionally funny, and always exciting adventure that crams every conceivable pirate trope into a two-hour film. On Blu- ray, the film is more enjoyable than ever, with excellent picture quality and an explosive audio track that features one of the best scores of the 1990s. Those that passed this one up in theaters may want to give it a look. Recommended. [CSW] -3- This would have been a great movie if they had shot it as an R rated movie instead of PG-13. With the PG-13 the just couldn't add the realism need to make this into a really good movie. One of the most expensive flops ever made ($100 million) just because they couldn't make it real for the viewer. Although the sets, costumes, ships, and scenery were all beautiful as was the cinematography it all added up to being just a nice rental. Watching this movie using Samsung's 2D to 3D conversion along with D-Box intelligent vibration did make this movie almost a keeper but the very low BD price DID make it a keeper. Cast Notes: Geena Davis (Morgan), Matthew Modine (Shaw), Frank Langella (Dawg), Maury Chaykin (John Reed), Patrick Malahide (Ainslee), Stan Shaw (Glasspoole), Rex Linn (Mr. Blair), Paul Dillon (Snelgrave), Christopher Masterson (Bowen [as Chris Masterson]), Jimmie F. Skaggs (Scully), Harris Yulin (Black Harry), Carl Chase (Bishop), Peter Geeves (Fiddler Pirate), Angus Wright (Captain Trotter), Ken Bones (Toussant). IMDb Rating (06/05/12): 8.2/10 from 10,891 users IMDb Rating (04/21/12): 8.2/10 from 10,336 users
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